Today I want to share a struggle I have with this whole “believe” theme. Believing in myself. Believing in my instincts.
My daughter, Evie, had an episode this past weekend that scared the heck out of me. Unresponsive. Unsteady on her feet. Couldn’t talk. No color to her face. Gray/blue lips. I instantly thought, “she’s having another stroke!” I rushed her to the ER. They ran some tests and determined that she was ok and most likely had a seizure. I was so thankful.
But as I sat there and watched her sleep I started second guessing everything I did that day. Maybe we should have stayed at home and waited it out. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe I wasted people’s time. Maybe people think I’m crazy….
But then I spoke to a mom more experienced and wiser than me. She reminded me that I know what I’m doing. I know my daughter. Thankfully it wasn’t serious, but it could have been. And so what if people think I’m crazy.
Her words reminded me that being a mom to a stroke survivor isn’t easy. There are no right answers. We are forced to make decisions which we maybe aren’t comfortable with or we aren’t trained to make regarding the care of our children. But we have to keep making them knowing and believing that we know our children better than anyone and those decisions are best for us no matter what the outside world thinks.
So this is something I’m going to work on. Believing in myself. And trusting that the choices I make are right for us. And If that makes me crazy, so what?
Jana Smoot White – Streaking for Pediatric Stroke – Day 2
